July 2018 16 My husband and I are expecting our third child, and we were blindsided by the news of his or her impending arrival. In preparation for another baby, I bought a tube of eye cream. I’ve reached my early thirties, and I noticed that this decade is cultivating facial wrinkles like a potato field at plow time. I also purchased a second set of silverware, because I realized we only had flatware settings for four. We can only tell the kids “Take a bite and pass your fork” so many times before someone will realize this isn’t how their friends at school eat dinner. After the birth of our second child, my husband and I told God and everyone we were done having kids. Then we gave away every single baby item the instant our son outgrew it because we are idiots. We clearly didn’t understand basic biology, which clearly states that when a man and a woman give away the high chair, they will immediately conceive another child. It’s nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the department stores. Because now we must re-purchase all the gear and tiny clothing we so optimistically gave away. Many third-time moms like to claim that they know babies don’t really need all the swings, gliders, mobiles, rattles, and miniature specialized food blenders they needlessly bought for their first infant. They say that all babies really need is love, because by now they are experienced at both parenting and lying through their teeth. Sure, we’d save a ton of money if we could raise the baby on nothing but love. Bonus points if it was 100% whole, natural, organic, non-GMO, BPA- free love. But we’ll likely spring for diapers at some point (like before birth) because I’m pretty sure babies can’t poop on love, even though they can sure defecate on romance. We will also need to buy baby clothes, which is super annoying because we already had a boy and a girl born in the same season that this one is due. “Can’t we just wrap the baby in a towel?” asked my husband. “You mean like…okay, what do you mean?” I replied. “I mean like a little baby all-in-one toga/diaper system. It would be super-efficient; we could just shake out the soiled towel, throw it in the wash, and grab another one. We’ll save a ton on clothes and diapers.” “Great idea!” I said. “Why don’t we just throw the baby in the washing machine with the soiled towel and save money on the bath water, too?” “Really? We can do that?” “No. Now give me the credit card. I’m going to Target.” Even though adding another family member will inevitably increase household expenses – especially if this one rudely expects to eat every day like its older siblings – having another child will also increase the love. It will no longer be 100% whole, natural, organic, non-GMO, BPA-free love, though, because I am chaining myself to the hospital bed until I receive written confirmation that my tubes are tied, cut, burned, folded over, and tied again. Parents: 1 Department stores: 0 By Jolyn Young Jolyn Young lives on the O RO Ranch in northern Arizona with her cowboy husband, Jim, and their two small children. She writes a humor column that is published in two states. To read more of her work or contact her regarding publishing Desolate Ranch Wife, visit jolynyoung.com. DESOLATE RANCH WIFE Third-Time Parents Versus the Department Stores By Michele Wilson Join CSPPC on our Facebook page and like us. We look forward to hearing from you. If you have questions or comments, please call Liz at 602-799-4913 or Michele at 602-540-2135. Over two years ago, friends of the Peruvian Horse in the United States launched a project which was titled the Longevity Report. American Peruvian Horse owners from the United States as well as Canada, Australia, Europe and other parts of the world contributed information about their horses. Birth and death dates if appropriate were compiled making a huge database of horses over the age of 20. Since the Peruvian Horse is a breed small in numbers, this was a particularly important undertaking. We needed to verify that our horses lead long lives, into their late 20s and even their 30s. Since the initial publication of this project, many people have come forward with commentary, pictures and have shared stories about their favorite Peruvian Horses. You can read about this project at the NAPHA website www. NAPHA.net. One of the mares in the study was Muneca de Porcelana RDAZ. On her last birthday, she had attained the age of 28. She was very well known in the old Desert Show Horse days, having been a Year End Champion Gait Horse, Champion Performance Mare, and Champion Breeding Mare for several years running. She was also a Champion Pleasure Mare at the Arizona Peruvian Paso Club’s Regional Show. Muneca was an unusual palomino color (similar to Gulden’s mustard) with a silver mane and tail. She was talented, well-bred and well trained. She was my favorite riding horse. A couple of weeks ago she was cast in her stall and while struggling to get up, she got hurt. It was with much sadness that we offered her peace and freedom from pain. I will forever miss her but I know she is in a better place. I am sure I will meet her again. On a happier note, the Peruvian clubs in the Southwest have scheduled a full slate of shows for the summer and fall. Upcoming are the Los Amigos in Santa Barbara in July, Mission Trails in Temecula in August and the Southern California Championship Show in September. The US National Show will be held in October in Glen Rose, TX. The NAPHA has exact dates and locations. Check our news next month to hear about Liz’s trip to an Arizona border town, in a search for an old ranch that is still the home of a few Peruvian horses. NEWS FROM COPPER STATE PERUVIAN PASO CLUB Debbie Pye Here’s cute little baby Grace on her first Easter. Will this next baby be dressed in perfectly coordinated outfits? Probably not. But maybe we’ll spring for shoes.